Countless days have passed. I can't even remember. The last time I felt.. uhh.. "zest"(?) for living. It seems time was literally going too fast that I can't even enjoy the ride. Life is a ride, enjoy it. I've been a believer of this ever since I decided not to stress too much on things that I can't control. But this is a whole different situation, this is a situation that I don't even know how to deal with. It's like I'm at a total loss..
I remember, the other day, I was about to fall into a deep sleep. I was dreaming as early as that. I was in a car and I was driving, driving hella fast. And I closed my eyes, without my control. So I could not see a thing! I just know that I was going way too fast and I wasn't slowing down. I tried to open my eyes but my eyelids would not follow my command. I was scared for my life. Even if it was in the dream. I mean would you wanna die in your dream?? I think no one would want to. The odd thing about this is that I knew that it was a dream. And I was thinking aloud to myself that I had to move my arm in my real life to jerk me out of that dream before I was dead!!! I didn't know how my mind made it happen but it happened and I was breathing heavily when I woke up. It made me not sleep again for a while.
That's how I feel right now. This very moment, this very minute. Up to this second, I know time goes by so fast and I want to soak up every moment of it. I have tons to do but I cant let those stop me from enjoying my life.
Procrastinating. That's what I'm doing. And I know this. Still I'm not doing anything about it. That's why everyday I keep wishing for some time alone. In a beach with no distractions. Just me, a good book, good weather, with peace and quiet. And if anybody would want to spend time with those too, then they're welcome to join me. But I need time to recharge. I'm getting emptied out. I know this is bad, but if I stop, it's like stopping in the middle of a treadmill run, I know I'm gonna slip and fall and I cannot afford that, I think.
Wooooozah. woooooozah. Need time. I have it. I'm just always chasing it. It's pretty tiring. If only the effects of all that chasing would manifest in real life, I'd be totally hot! Hahahaha!
